missvictoria

Not sure where to begin this blog, or where to end it, so Im just gonna spill it all out and see how it goes..

I always make excuses for myself.. That its been a bad week, that Im sick, that Im weak, that Ill do it tomorow..
Tomorow always turns into next week, which turns into next month, which turns into me being FAT FAT FAT for longer than I need to be.

This week, has been awful, I slipped up.. and instead of getting back on the wagon the following day, I turned it into a whole week of being shit! *sigh* and Ive noone to blame but myself..

Am I strong enough to beat myself, and actually do this? I dont know, thats the honest answer.. I feel weak, and sometimes think I dont deserve to be who I want too be..
But god damn it, I do! and Im gonna get there! one way or another!

Im struggling alot at the mo.. And really wish I could jst flick the switch on my head to make it all work how it should!

But, Im back for another go at this.. And I will, WILL get there..
We all will!!

I also wanna say, Im sorry, to my buddys and challenges Im in, for not being here this last week.. And for not showing the support Ive received from a lot of people on here! But Im gonna give it all Ive got from now on.. Im really gonna kick this unhealthy life in the ass once and for all!!

xx

I feel sick! totally and horribly sick at myself!
I binged beyond believe tonight!
I have done so well to stay away from it, and tonight, I went the complete other way, and ate and ate and ate!

I have nothing else to say… *kicks self*

So today, and yesterday actually, I finally managed to push my calories up to 1000-1200 a day!
I was, what I thought, doing really well all week, till I totalled up my calories and was between 800-900 calories!
Ive actually eaten 3 meals today! which is good for me!
Even before I started, I would normally only have a big dinner, possibly a late lunch! But Im learning

Started the dreaded period today! and had nothing low fat/low cat/low anything! chocolatey in the house!
So went for a hot chocolate, which had 99 calories! Im quite chuffed with myself! hehe.. and I could only manage half of it!

 Ive been doing my walking, and workouts everyday so far, apart from yesterday I think *thinks* not sure actually, but done very well! And started using my yoga ball for extra boosting in the evening!

 All in all, its not been a bad week! 8lbs down and still going!

x

Ive struggled today.
No particular reason why, cant tell you why Im feeling so s**t..
I skipped breakfast, and lunch, simply cos I got up late and wasnt hungry.
I had dinner, earlier than normal, and a snack early evening..

I know, myself, I have to eat at least 3 meals a day, Im not stupid, Ive been through it before, I know I need to eat regularly and have healthy balanced meals… Its not rocket science.

And Ive been doing so well this week.. I know, Ive only just started, but I was pretty proud of myself up until today.
I havent given into the temptations or cravings, Ive drunk my water, and stayed away from all fizzy drink, which I lurve..
But just not feeling it today! Which Im really ticked off at myself for!

Had a headache all day, and feel sick.. Cant sleep, and just generally feeling pretty rough…

Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a better day!

Its always, about this time of night, that Id be sneaking downstairs, to fill up on sandwhichs, with thick white bread, loads of butter and whatever filling we had in the fridge.. Bringing it up too bed, with crisps, chocolate, and probably a glass of something fizzy too drink!

This is the hardest part, I think, for me to remove from my diet, and lifestyle..
During the day, when people are around me, motivating me too carry on, and ‘watching’ me, I feel I have to be good, I want to be good, I can do it.
At night, when noones awake.. The house is silent.. Thats when it calls me, as stupid as it probably sounds! I have to really fight the urge to go and binge on whatever is in my cupboards!

I can do this.. I will do this.. I have to do this!
For my mental wellbeing, physically wellbeing.. For my future wellbeing, I cant carry on like I am..

Im unfit, overweight, and it needs to change.

 Step One: Signing up to this support group!

Heres too a size 10-12!